Everyone knows that the worst thing we can do to ancient texts like those found in the bible is to interpret and contextualize them. The best translation is a literal, word-for-word translation that doesn’t poison the original words with any of our high falutin’ modern ideas. In that spirit, I have undertaken my own translation of the Hebrew Bible that matches the text exactly word-for-word and avoids modern contraptions like punctuation, chapter & verse divisions, essence and meaning. I hope you and your family are #blessed by my work. Enjoy!

in-begin created elohim the-skies and-the-earth and-the-earth was formless void and-dark upon-the-face of the-deep and-the-breath elohim blowing on-the-face the-water and-said elohim be light and-be light and-saw elohim the-light that-good and-separated elohim between the-light and-between the-dark and-called elohim to-the-light day and-to-the-dark called night and-be evening and-be morning day one and-said elohim be dome in-midst the-water and-be separated between water to-water and-made elohim the-dome and-separated between the-water which from-below to-the-dome and-between the-water from-upon to-the-dome and-be there and-called elohim to-the-dome heaven and-be evening and-be morning day two

This is just a taste. My complete translation will soon be available in a handsome hardbound volume with personalized leather slipcase for an outrageous premium price.